Sword & Sandal Report: Immortals, Gods & Kings, Noah, 300: Battle of Artemisia & Pompeii Blow the Lid Off the Ancient World!

By Jason Apuzzo. • Immortals is upon us, opening this Friday in 3D. As LFM readers know, I love the Sword & Sandal genre – it might actually be my favorite type of movie, among the many that we discuss here at Libertas – and so I’m looking forward to seeing the film. I grew up on films like Clash of the Titans and Jason and the Argonauts, the Steve Reeves Hercules films, and Ben-Hur – so it takes absolutely no effort for me to get revved up about a film like this. Especially when there’s a Minotaur involved.

At the same time, based on how Immortals is being marketed, I’m a very long way from believing it’s going to be anything other than a vacuous exercise in style, a kind of Chanel commercial in togas. Having watched/read recent interviews (see here and here) with the film’s director, Tarsem Singh, I have no sense that the film has any kind of personal meaning for him or anybody else involved. Nor do I sense as yet that the film is anything other than a cash-in on the ongoing popularity of 300, from which it obviously draws its inspiration.

Part of this, I confess, has to do with the cast – none of whom is really grabbing my attention. Henry Cavill, who is currently shooting the forthcoming Superman reboot, is someone I haven’t seen before except in 2002’s The Count of Monte Cristo, a film that did nothing for me. He doesn’t look all that interesting, frankly. As for the rest of the cast – Stephen Dorff, Luke Evans, Kellan Lutz – I barely even know who these people are. And as far as the women in the film, Isabel Lucas was appealing enough in Red Dawn, and in the second Transformers movie as a sexually aggressive alien robot … but having her play Athena? The goddess of wisdom? That seems like quite a stretch, like something you’d see in a high school play – along with cardboard swords and paper-mache busts of Caesar. As for Freida Pinto, my sense is that her 15 minutes of fame are rapidly dwindling – prior to her inevitable cash-out three years from now as a Bond girl.

And then there’s Mickey Rourke, wearing what appear to be bronze bunny ears. I’m still trying to figure that one out.

So to say that I’m skeptical is an understatement. Still, the film’s costumes look good, and a great deal of thought seems to have been put into the visual design of the film – so we’ll see. In the meantime, you can read this incredibly inane interview with Tarsem, the cast members are also out talking about the film (Cavill, Rourke, Dorff), you can catch photos of the film and also 8 new clips. Also: the film has new TV spots (here and here), and a graphic novel is apparently on its way; also, the NY Times has a new feature on the film’s stylized violence.

• One of the best rumors of late in the Sword & Sandal world – indeed, one of the best movie rumors overall, of late – is that Steven Spielberg may direct Gods and Kings, an epic revolving around the life of Moses. I think this is a fabulous idea, assuming it can be made to happen. Deadline Hollywood reported recently that Spielberg has already read the Gods and Kings script by Michael Green and Stuart Hazeldine, and that the film would be made by Warner Brothers – likely with involvement from DreamWorks.

Where to begin? To have the director of Schindler’s List and Raiders of the Lost Ark take on the life of Moses would seem to make perfect sense. Spielberg would bring an old-fashioned, humanistic warmth and sentimentality to the project that very few directors have anymore, while also bringing a sense of spectacle, adventure and showmanship into the mix, as well. So for what it’s worth, I love the idea of him doing this – although I hope he’d change the title; Gods and Kings sounds a bit too anodyne, for my taste – or maybe just too close to Gods and Generals, I can’t tell. And anyway, aren’t we really talking about ‘Prophets and Pharaohs’ here?

Spielberg is also a major admirer of Cecil B. DeMille’s (watch any documentary on DeMille and you’ll always see Spielberg singing his praises), and I strongly suspect that Spielberg would love to have a DeMille-style religious/family epic of this sort under his belt to cement his legacy – the type of film that could be watched on holidays in perpetuity, much like DeMille’s Ten Commandments. Adjusted for inflation, incidentally, The Ten Commandments is still the #5 movie of all time at the box office, and would’ve made over a billion dollars domestically at today’s ticket prices.

Of course, I don’t know a lot about Gods and Kings; it could be that the screenwriters have opted for a less traditional take on the story than what I’m expecting. Be that as it may, it seems likely that with a project of this kind Spielberg would be swinging for the fences, trying to hit a major home run at the box office and also tell a story that would – in our increasingly fractious times – unite audiences worldwide.

Were I to guess, I’d say that he will likely do some kind of Moses film – although the script will need to match his personal agenda, more than the screenwriter’s. It’s conceivable that this project will remain in development for a while, if he doesn’t like what he sees initially, but I’d bet he’ll give the Moses story a try before too long.

By the way, do I dare mention the possibility of parting the Red Sea … in 3D?

• Speaking of Moses, the screenplay for Darren Aronofsky’s Noah movie is currently being written, with hopes for a production start in the spring. Also: images, a synopsis and a ‘trailer’ are already out for a graphic novel version of the film (the novel is only available in French thus far).

Here’s the story synopsis, translated – poorly – from the French (via /Film):

“It was a world without hope, a world with no rain and no crops, dominated by warlords and their barbarian hordes. In this cruel world, Noah was a good man. Seasoned fighter, mage and healer but he only wanted peace for him and his family. Yet every night, Noah was beset by visions of an endless flood, symbolizing the destruction of all life. Gradually he began to understand the message sent him by the Creator. He had decided to punish the men and kill them until the last. But he gave Noah a last chance to preserve life on Earth …”

Make of that what you will. Also: Govindini wrote a thoughtful piece about Aronofsky’s project back in July, so feel free to check that out. My own feeling is that Aronofsky is ill-suited to this type of film, given that the original story material doesn’t contain enough peeling flesh.

• In other news, the plot for 300: Battle of Artemisia may have been leaked, depending on whether one believes this report. In any case, producer Mark Canton is trying to keep people pumped about the 300 sequel (see here and here) – not a bad idea, given that it’s been over 5 years since the first film debuted – and Joel Edgerton is currently rumored as the lead for the new film, playing the Greek general Themosticles. Works for me.

• Speaking of Mark Canton, he has another Sword & Sandal project in the works called Emperor, about the young Caesar and the young Brutus. It sounds like an interesting project, and he wants to turn it into a franchise, although I’m not sure he helped his cause by describing the project recently as “Braveheart meets Twilight.” [Sigh.] You can’t make this stuff up.

• Speaking of Hollywood vacuity, Warner Brothers is apparently moving forward on a project called Arthur & Lancelot, about King Arthur and his court. The film is slated for a March 15th, 2013 release – and casting rumors are already flying, including the possible participation of Gary Oldman as Merlin. So far, so good.

Apparently, though, director David Dobkin claims that his film is “wrapped around the birth of democracy as a concept and it’s positing Arthur as the first man to say all men are created equal.” Um, is Mr. Dobkin familiar with ancient Athens? The Athens of Greece, as opposed to the rocking college town in Georgia. [Btw, readers, don’t give me any grief about Athens not being a ‘pure’ democracy. Neither would ‘Arthurian’ England have been.]

• Director Paul W.S. Anderson is still a ways off from shooting his film Pompeii, and he’s probably still smarting from the recent disaster of his 3D Three Musketeers, but he recently put out a new Pompeii promo image and synopsis, and he offers an update on the film here.

• The Hobbit rolls on. The film will be premiering next year in New Zealand, and the film’s cast members are already out talking about the production (Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Luke Evans, Evangeline Lilly). Several behind-the-scenes featurettes have already been released (see here and here). And in other Middle Earth/medieval news, there’s a teaser out for Season 2 of Game of Thrones, the cast is out talking about the second season, and redheaded actress Rose Leslie has joined the cast for Season 2.

• Did you know that Kristen Stewart will be killing people in Snow White and The Huntsman? No kidding, Snow White will apparently be laying the axe to people in this new adaptation from Universal. Here’s Stewart:

“Basically, I’m fighting evil—I’m fighting the most evil motherf—ers—and it’s fine that they’re being killed. It’s anguish. It’s literally f–king anguish. She takes absolutely no pleasure in ever hurting anything.”

Maybe they should re-title the film Red Snow. (Will she be swearing this much during the press tour?) In any case, a big new banner for the film was just released today, more set photos are out of the film, and Entertainment Tonight will apparently be debuting some new footage tomorrow – some of which you can already see here.

• In other Sword & Sandal News: The tanking of Conan the Barbarian really hurt Lionsgate’s bottom line; Clash of the Titans 3 already has screenwriters, and Wrath of the Titans (Clash 2) will be opening in IMAX (and in 3D) on March 30th; Spartacus: Vengeance will be premiering on Starz on January 27th, and a 3rd season of Spartacus has already been greenlit; Producer Wyck Godfrey provides an update on Goliath (he wants Dwayne Johnson to play Goliath); there’s now a competing Maccabee project for Mel Gibson to worry about; the Hollywood Reporter speculates on why Biblical movies are suddenly hot (their theory: VFX spectacle + brand recognition); and don’t forget that a wonderful new Blu-ray set of Ben-Hur is now out (here are the details), and you can check out this trailer for the set.

• AND IN TODAY’S MOST IMPORTANT NEWS … I thought we’d take a look at Isabel Lucas as Athena in Immortals. I never thought the revered goddess of wisdom could look so young …

And that’s what’s happening today in the world of Sword & Sandals!

[UPDATE 11/10: The first trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman is now out, along with new posters for the film. I thought the trailer looked OK, but nothing special. Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth will obviously be carrying the film more than Kristen Stewart – who didn’t seem to have a word of dialogue in the trailer.]

Posted on November 11th, 2011 at 11:23pm.