Day: August 29, 2011

By Joe Bendel. To be young and crazy in the 1960s only meant one thing: prepare yourself for some generous helpings of electro-shock treatment. Unfortunately, the beautiful and institutionalized Kristen has even greater problems in John Carpenter’s The Ward, which is now available on DVD.

After burning down a remote farmhouse while mysteriously decked out in her night-gown, Kristen is delivered into the care of Dr. Stringer. He does not seem like a bad fellow, but his nurse is evidently still out of sorts from all the trouble she had with that McMurphy character. Yet, despite their aggressive battery of pharmaceuticals, Kristen is often left unattended with the other four young women in her ward.

Iris, an artist, is initially the most welcoming of the group.  Emily is the assertive one, often assuming the role of protector for Zoey, who seems to suffer from an acute case of arrested development. Conversely, Sarah, the catty sexpot, specializes in generating bad vibes. It would all be like a CW show in an insane asylum, except that the spirit of a former patient is apparently trying to kill them all.

Just about every horror movie fan wants the new John Carpenter film to be a triumphant return to form. As a result, there is a temptation to forgive a lot in The Ward. Truthfully, though, it is just a serviceable genre picture at best that relies far too heavily on scares derived from stuff sneaking up behind character and going boo, rather than genuinely tapping into the fear of the unknown. Even the spooky old nut house is not all that memorable, particularly when compared to that of the Vicious Brothers’ Grave Encounters.

To its credit, the cast is fairly game. Though not a scream queen in the Carpenter-Jaime Lee Curtis tradition, Amber Heard is quite credible as the take-charge Kristen, which is essential a given where the film is headed. Jared Harris is not exactly Peter Cushing either, but he is still pretty good as Dr. Stringer, projecting an ethically ambiguous erudition appropriate to the genre.

Though it is reasonably well executed, the big twist might frustrate genre fans as well, because we have seen it before in films of relatively recent vintage. (Here’s a hint: in one such movie Alfred Molina played the head-shrinker.) However, the biggest disappointment of The Ward is the absence of that unquantifiable but instantly recognizable eerie atmosphere that permeates the classic Carpenter canon. Judged on its own merits, The Ward is a mediocre to sort-of okay b-movie, with some featured performances arguably exceeding the industry standard. Yet compared to They Live, The Thing, the original Halloween, and even Prince of Darkness, it is rather watery beer, but fans can still check it on DVD.

In established horror movie tradition, Mary Kee’s threatening calls are coming from inside her own apartment. The ‘from thirty years in the past’ thing is a neat trick, though. While never explained, viewers should just go with the cosmically crossed line set-up if they can find Matthew Parkhill’s The Caller (trailer here), which opened this past Friday. Continue reading Thriller Double Feature: LFM Reviews John Carpenter’s The Ward, The Caller

By Joe Bendel. Imagine the world’s first 3D erotic film coming from the Disney studios while the Old Man himself was still running the show. It is almost as shocking that Hong Kong filmmakers would blaze that trail (particularly post 1997 hand-over), but such is the case. As a result, all serious film historians must surely take due note of Christopher Sun’s Sex and Zen 3D: Extreme Ecstasy (trailer here), currently playing in mainstream New York theaters.

Based on Li Yu’s novel The Carnal Prayer Mat, something of the Ming Dynasty equivalent of Fanny Hill, S&Z tells the story of the talented but shallow scholar Wei Yangsheng, who chunks away his respectable married life to partake in the hedonism of the nefarious Prince Ning’s secret vice lair. In return for his expertise with antiquities, the Prince allows him nearly free reign with the women. Unfortunately, his shortcomings, if you will, lead to considerable embarrassment for the faithless scholar. Not one to take things laying down, Wei Yangsheng approaches the outwardly beautifully (but androgynous where it counts) Elder of Bliss to teach him the cosmic secrets of carnal pleasure. The first step: a transplant, in 3D. You’ve been warned.

Of course, everyone is probably wondering the same thing about S&Z: just how much Zen does it really have? In truth, only a bit. The scholar’s old teacher is a Buddhist monk, whose piety draws the ire of Prince Ning. There is a lot of sex, though.

Kind-of-sort-of rebooting the early 1990’s HK softcore Sex and Zen franchise, the 3D S&Z’s nudity is almost entirely from the waist up, except for what might be described as comedic prosthetics. However, there is a lot of simulated action going on (which in a bit of a miscalculation, gets rather dark in nature down the stretch), so it should probably be considered more of an NC-17 film than a hard R. Continue reading New Dimensions in Sexual Freedom: LFM Reviews China’s Sex & Zen 3D